Rogers & Norton News

Leave or Remain

Leave or Remain??

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Kerry Rowell from our Matrimonial Department discusses the Leave or Remain argument from your families point of view.

If you took part in the recent Brexit vote you will be familiar with this big decision. A decision based on uncertainty and the unknown, going back to a time before we became part of a union bigger than just ourselves. The possibility of what could be, versus the reality of what is and ultimately the fear of the future.

At some point in our lives we will find ourselves in a bad relationship and faced with the crucial decision whether to leave or to remain. In many relationships it is no longer love that keeps us together but fear. Fear of what we will lose rather than what we might gain. Fear of the unknown and fear that things will be better.

With over 16 years’ experience in helping people separate in the best way they can I have learnt to give honest, positive and practical advice.  The earlier people receive this advice the better for them and their former partner.  I don’t know any matrimonial solicitor who will advise you to remain in a negative relationship which has broken down. This is because as an impartial but experienced observer they see first-hand the damage this does to relationships and families.  Leaving too late can reduce a once happy relationship to a toxic one.  As can handling your exit without expert support and advice.

I asked one of my clients to help me with the answer to this question and what his biggest fear about leaving was.  His response to me, “I was frightened of being a part time dad and losing everything.”

Having come out the other side with my support and advice I asked him if this fear was realised. The response, “No.  I feel more of a dad to my kids than when I was living with them full time.  The kids are happier than ever.”   Why? We had secured a good arrangement for the children to spend good portions of time with both their parents and the time each of them spent with their children was more interactive. Was that simple? No.  It took patience and compromise on both sides, advice from experienced solicitors who could offer an impartial view based on real life experience having been through the process with other separating couples.  I asked “Did you lose everything?”  “No, I even got to keep the family home and I realised money is not important and can be earned again.”

Why remain? This is the question only you should answer.

Client testimonial – “Throughout my Divorce, I have learnt not to be led by emotion and keep calm, Kerry has taught me this and I would say that the lessons I have learnt from Kerry were invaluable to the process.  I will never celebrate the fact that I am Divorced, only the fact that I made it to the end of the journey safely and that myself and my ex-wife were both able to see eye to eye to create a win win negotiation and closure.” Senior Manager – Global Company

Kerry Rowell

Kerry Rowell