Rogers & Norton News

Making arrangements for your children on separation

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Making arrangements for your children once you separate can prove difficult.  Recent changes to the law aim to focus needs back onto children not parents.  All children cope differently with being separated from their parents.  Many parents attempt to compromise with a shared care arrangement feeling that equal time means equal, whilst others cannot, due to work commitments or because of difficulties between them and their ex partner.  For shared care to work it is thought there should be 5 pre-conditions in place:-

  1. the children themselves are happy with such an arrangement;
  2. the parents are on good terms;
  3. the parents live very close to each other;
  4. their children can attend the same school;
  5. the child is able to live independently in each household, own room, own clothes etc

Without such pre-conditions children can often feel as if they are leading a nomadic, chaotic lifestyle.

Research suggests that more time with your children doesn’t mean better.  Children who have a close pre separation relationship with their parents can continue such a relationship irrespective of the quantity of time they spend with a parent. 

Successful arrangements for children come as a result of many factors.  These include:-

  • the absence of post-separation parental conflict;
  • no domestic violence or concerns about parental care;
  • both parents encouraging the others child/parent relationship;
  • the child can feel equally at home in either home;
  • the child can get along well with a new partner;
  • both parents show a commitment to the child;
  • the child feels consulted about arrangements (not forced to choose);
  • the parents are flexible over arrangements and prepared to accommodate the child’s needs as they get older;
  • the child enjoyed a good pre-separation relationship with their parents.

These complexities often lead to a need for a tailor made solution for parents and as such can require careful negotiation with the assistance of an expert solicitor.

If you need assistance with making arrangements to see your children then please speak with Kerry Rowell at Rogers & Norton Solicitors on 01603 666001 or e-mail